Mob-themed Humor Enthusiast Gifts

"That one there's Sammy the Bull, over there is Frankie the Scorpion...."

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"No flight of the Bumblebee"

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"We need rain."

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

Can I have a look at the map?

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

"I'm going to Bognor next year!"

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

Why used clothing should be declared a dangerous weapon...

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

"You talkin' to me?"

"There's a gender neutral toilet under the bed."

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"Whether I have five passengers or five hundred, I try to make the same inane announcements."

The Only Orchestra In the world with a Mime.

"Where does it say I can't take the law into my own feet?"

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

'Finally!'