Mob Story Enthusiast Gifts

"First, let him look at the night sky, so he'll realize how insignificant he is."

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"We need rain."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

Mob Boss Runs Errands

"You talkin' to me?"

"Just out of curiosity, are you with organized crime or are you an independent?"

Genco - A Corleone Subsidiary

"Now you will be the accountant to the fishes."

"Where does it say I can't take the law into my own feet?"

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

Track'em Whack'em

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."

Awful Alternate Histories.

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

'What's my husband like? -- Just imagine Tony Soprano without any money.'

"You bake one mean Pizza, O' Reilly, but..."

Awful Alternate Histories.

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

"Cash-flow problems, my ass! Don't make me send over our team leader from accounts-receivable to crunch your numbers!"