Mob Tale Lover Gifts

The Feng Shui Fish

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"We need rain."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Our cover is francophile liberals

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

'Take me to your leader -- I've got an offer he can't refuse!'

"Paper or plastic?"

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

The Mafia Goes Green.

'... and make it look like an accident.'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

"I'll have the 'Sammy the bull' …hold the quail eggs."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You the one they call 'The Farmer'?'

Mafia Shrinks

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

". . .or, you can juggle a world record 6 balls, 6 rings and one barking bichon and we call it a day."

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

"You understand this was just business."

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

"You talkin' to me?"

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"Just out of curiosity, are you with organized crime or are you an independent?"

Mob Boss Runs Errands

"How'd you get this number?"