Mob Enthusiast Gifts

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"I had an Android, then I switched to an iPhone. Then I went back to an Android, then I switched back to the iPhone. . ."

"We need rain."

Rodin's Cattle-Grid

CLEAR!

"Honey, this is serious, we need to text."

Lilly was too far from the phone to complain about her new stairlift.

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

A man with a walking frame breaks a wheel and hitches a ride with a man on a mobility scooter.

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

Last Reception for 200 Miles.

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Man reads book entitled: TXTRS DGEST.

Three-Quarters Life Crisis

"Warren's too cautious to cure his mid-life crisis with a motorcycle, so he's rebelling by driving shirtless."

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

"Last one to the top's a geriatric."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

'We've been going out for 6 months, now. He can't afford a ring, but he did give me his ringtone.'

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

Jeremy Clarkson

Hazard of texting

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

"He adored that old car !"

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

Smartphone reads eye chart

"I've tricked all my squirmy patients into staying still by telling them we're doing the mannequin challenge."

"So long, Tortellini, it's an offer you can't defuse."

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"Where does it say I can't take the law into my own feet?"