Mob Stories Gifts

"Tonight? I thought it was tomorrow night."

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"We need rain."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Our cover is francophile liberals

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

'Take me to your leader -- I've got an offer he can't refuse!'

"Paper or plastic?"

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

The Mafia Goes Green.

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'... and make it look like an accident.'

'Tonight's special presentation, 'The Myth of the Mafia,' was made possible by a grant from the Gambino family.'

'I want you to 'take him for a walk.''

There's been a misundertanding-we're advertising for GAGSTERS!'

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"Oh, yeah? Well, we just put out a contract on you too!!!"

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

"I'll have the 'Sammy the bull' …hold the quail eggs."

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You the one they call 'The Farmer'?'

"I'm gonna make him an offer he could refuse but won't because he's afraid of conflict."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

Organised Crime A.G.M.

'Hi. I'm Don.'

"You're gonna put me on that Nice List. Capeesh?"

". . .or, you can juggle a world record 6 balls, 6 rings and one barking bichon and we call it a day."

If we have to come back, I'm gonna bust your kneecaps, and Ira's going to cancel your insurance.

The Unacceptable Face of Tailoring

"I've been sent to rub you out pal..."

Mafia Shrinks