Mobile Humorist Gifts

"I thought what the hell - so I've thrown the mobile in too!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

Football Chameleon

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

Bob's Driving School.

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

"Didn't you just say that?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

Pay me not to pay 'Wonderwall'

"Who is 'coming around the mountain,' John? Could it be your mother?"