Cell Phone Humorist Gifts

Ahab's Last Call.

"I always carry an empty cardboard box, just incase I have to take a private call."

Dawing your Cellphone

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'Can you do anything else?'

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

"This is the New York 'Times' Business Poll again, Mr. Landau. Do you feel better or worse about the economy than you did twenty minutes ago?"

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"I'll have my people call your people."

No Texting

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

A baby escapes from a pram

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

'Hello, you're through to the swine flu advice line. How can I help you?'

'I'm on the train.'