Cell Phone Humorist Gifts

Ahab's Last Call.

"I always carry an empty cardboard box, just incase I have to take a private call."

Dawing your Cellphone

"Yes, I'm alone."

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'What's PPI and how did you get this number?'

Cold caller.

"You have reached the Office of Status Quo. Relax. No need to listen carefully. Our menu options never change."

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'It's a text from Mike - Sorry I'm L8 B THR in a crrrrassssssh!!! ARRRRGGGHHH....;p'

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Can you do anything else?'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

'I wish to complain about 'Heavy breathing calls'.'

"This is the New York 'Times' Business Poll again, Mr. Landau. Do you feel better or worse about the economy than you did twenty minutes ago?"

"You are number 6 in queue for a song that will get stuck in your head for the rest of the day."

iPhone Senior

Amoeba mitosis Divorce

'I called Louis XVI and Robespierre answered!'

'Please hold for an eternity...'

A dog is embarrassed by his actions when recorded on his owner's mobile phone.

No Texting

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

"I'll have my people call your people."

"Le roi s'amuse. Now put your father on the phone."

"Hey, Tarzan – no need to yell."

'Yes, this is us speaking.'

"One moment, please, while I put you on character building hold."

Motel Check-In. Would you like a wake-up call?

"In the name of all that is good, I cast thee away from this home...leave these people be!"

'You have reached the Heisenberg Institute. Your call will be answered in random order.'

'Yes we have a J.R. Hartley here.'

A baby escapes from a pram

'Betty? I can't come over; I've got prickly heat rash again.'

'I'm on the train.'