Mobile Humorist T-Shirts

"I thought what the hell - so I've thrown the mobile in too!"

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Canadian Mt. ‘Rush’more"

Football Chameleon

Airport Security.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"I was going to play the Moonlight Sonata, but I forgot the key."

"This next one is my own quirky rendition of Berlioz's 'Symphonie Fantastique,' Movement 5, 'Dream of a Witches' Sabbath.'"

Bob's Driving School.

Radiator jazz player

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Didn't you just say that?"

"Not now, my love. I'm feeling preminstrel."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

"I thought it would be appropriate to have a band playing as we went down."

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

The Phantom Of The Garden

"They'll be expecting adagio. Go with the allegro."

Opera singer singing to her partner who is wearing a gas mask on due to her bad breath.

Guitar pickin'

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

Rap-scallions