Mob Humor Enthusiast T-Shirts

'See I told you! Nobody joins and angry, vengeful mob carrying a solar garden light!'

'Will you kindly remind the rest of the staff that I'm the managing director - not the Godfather!'

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

A dog on the sidewalk has a 'walk me' sign, begging for a walk.

"We need rain."

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"Gap... Tony Soprano fit"

'... and make it look like an accident.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

Cars.

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

"The weeds - I want 'em whacked."

'You're not a very good listener, are you?'

Hits Needed, please click.

"You got a problem? Forget about it."

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"Tommy, when ya gonna start doing your own laundry?"

'I hope you don't mind sleeping with the fishes, Mister Scarponi?'

"Where does it say I can't take the law into my own feet?"

"You talkin' to me?"

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

"There's a mouse needs taking care of..."

'You'll have to give up wine and women. You can sing, but only Julie Andrews numbers.'

The Only Orchestra In the world with a Mime.

"Oh! You gave me such a start."

"Genuine ASBOs for sale."

'If you sing 'If I Had a Hammer' one more time, I'm going to hit you with one.'

Boy Plays Flute With Backside

Chugger

"You're my top enforcer, Donahue, but I have to let you go. The word on the street is cultural appropriation."

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

Awful Alternate Histories.