Mobile Home Humorist Gifts

'But this IS my mobile home!'

'It's my mobile home.'

"Which carries a more favorable interest rate, an auto loan or a home improvement loan? My mobile home needs a new transmission."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Bob's Driving School.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

"Scientists have extended the life of the fruit fly."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

A Semicolon.

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'Beware of SUV.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

Carpet Cows

'We've found the problem...'

Speed Bumps.

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?