Mixer Critic Pillows

'These geek mixers never work.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

No Elgar!

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

'OK, everybody...'Louie, Louie' from the top!'

"An everything Martini, please."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"I like his earlier work better, particularly the ones I said I didn't like at the time."

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"New studies show that the so-called 'lucky man' made popular by the prog-rock band Emerson, Lake and Palmer was, in fact, just very well-connected."

"I'm trying to write a drinking song, but I can't get past the first couple of bars."

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

"No, I'm still getting too much banjo."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

'Horace spends his spare time being a rock critic.'

The Music Critic.

Books and Phones

A singer being criticised

"Is that neat whisky?"

"I use to be a human beat-box but found it too humdrum."

'I hate these purists who play Bach without any pedal'

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

Nun reading 'Halo' magazine

"What do you mean, who are my influences?"

Books-CDs-Tapes.

Snake Eats the Snake Charmer.

"I don't do spells. I'm a wizard at deciphering rap lyrics."