Misunderstanding Mavens Gifts

'Loose zips cause trips, Robert.'

'Surely they're not ALL still in their offices!'

National Optometrists Association. O.K., whose idea was it to form a focus group?…

Dracula Admires His Offspring.

"Gotta go. My ten o'clock is here."

"My great-uncle Lupe owned a barber shop! He made a lot of money!"

Agatha Christie

Making a pact with the devil at the crossroads.

'All those opposed, signify by using the usual sign.'

'I envy your metabolism.'

"OK, I'll tell you what I know, but I can't reveal my source."

Department de Philosophie

Money and Football

"All in favor of toupees, say aye."

The Way of the Euro?

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'

"I'm glad I found the time to join this meeting, otherwise we wouldn't see each other in years!"

Space Turkey Aliens visit a family on Thanksgiving.

Look at all our kids' clothing! Sneakers made in Vietnam. Pants from China. Sweaters from Thailand. Sports gear from Macau! They don't need so much stuff!! One obvious rule will stop all this consumerism. Good idea! Kids! From now on

"I see something horrible in your future; death... mayhem... EVIL... wait a see, it's just a fingerprint."

'It's rude to talk to someone with your sunglasses on - they can't see your . . er . . limpid pools of loveliness.'

"Oh my God, I HAVE to touch your hair!"

'Hey, lady...this application wants me to PRINT my name but OBVIOUSLY I don't carry my PRINTER with me!'

"Guys my age get all their news from 'The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.'"

Mechanization of sugar cane harvesting

Factory-Second Magic 8 Balls

'If my phone is a smart phone, is your wall phone a dumb phone?'

'Would you mind throwing out some of your spare motorcycle parts? I'd like to park my car in the garage.'

"Really looks like they could use a miracle about now sir!"

Hairstyle Inspiration

"I've called this meeting to discuss the high level of absenteeism within this company!"

Dirty Martini.

'The best thing about being a black cat is that you can scare superstitious people...'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

Magazine Section at Shops