Missed Flight Gifts

"Flight 22 to J.F.K. Now boarding... Gate 46."

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"He built his own airplane from a kit."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

'...Excuse me...Whoops, my fault!..Sorry!..You first...Pardon Me...Sorry...S'cuse me...Look out!...Pardon'

'Congratulations on your purchase of the new Kablooey! Desk Organizer! Instructions for use...'

Birds Following Witch.

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

When at a loss for words Colin would often resort to communicating through the medium of contemporary dance.

The First Kite

"You said getting to the air B&B would be quick, I didn't think you meant this quick!"

'The best part is being able to fly without taking off your shoes.'

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Caveman who has just invented the wheel is amazed to see a paper airplane demonstrating the principle of flight.

"Free safety demonstration on board the flight?"

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"Is this your husbands first flight?"

'Okay, maybe I was defeated for re-election, but at least I beat the point spread!'

Geri Halliwell.

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

Fire Backwards.

'So we lost your luggage -- You still have your health, don't you?'

Did you know that hawks can travel 250 miles without flapping? Big deal. So can I.

Megacorp Airlines. "We bring people closer together. And that's just on the plane!

'Thanks for keeping me company Liz: Sitting on my eggs all day long can be a bit lonely...'

'I went with a tour group to Europe, and they dumped me in Spain.'

"Frankly, I've about had it with air travel."

Flight Socks.

'I think we took a wrong turn at Sodom or Gomoorah.'

"I don't care how much you saved. This is the LAST time we fly on vacation with a budget airline!"

Man is mugged in the snow and then mugged again by the same person when on holiday.

Qantas London Sydney

Man flying above the clouds

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"