Mischievous Mourner Gifts

No Dancing

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

The Phantom Of The Garden

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

You Know You're Old When...

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

Children playing in a library

'We were mud wrestling.'

'Surely you're not going to believe everything you see!'

'I couldn't put it down... I had peanut butter on my hands.'

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

"It's OK, Trump will pardon me."

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

"Check this out! My ew app imitates the sound of the door bell and makes the dog go berserk."

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'

"When I run away, put my picture on t-shirts instead of milk cartons."

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

What's wrong with the TV? IT keeps changing to the cartoons! (son sitting behind mom with the remote control).

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

'Believe me -- you don't want to know what I did on my summer vacation.'

Naughty Food

"Upcycled, re-purposed and resin dipped - that's how gran would have wanted to go."

'Luck I forgot my deodorant this morning.'

"I had a very trying day. I tried annoying my teacher, I tried annoying the principal..."

"What have you done with her this time?"

Buy me and I'll tell you where Long John Silver buried his treasure!