Mischievous Mobster Gifts

"Here kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

"The instructions for the beer-making kit you gave me? Didn't need them -- I figured it out for myself. Drink up."

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

Meowlzebub

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

Implement operation 'KILL ALL PLUMBERS'!

A pony throws its rider.

Father Sinead takes confession.... "You did F%!&>$G what, you C%*T!"

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

"Come on dear. It's getting late, and you have to be up early to collect your pension."

'Done! We're now on Santa's 'nice' list.'

Eager to pull a prank on his chiropractor, Dennis taped a bag of potato chips to the small of his back.

Pants Uglifier!

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

"Hey Neil, I've got an idea - let's really freak everyone out and tell them you're quitting physics to become my new co-Pope."

'Nice of them to invite us to a dance.'

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

Pandora's cat.

'Cut it out!'

I shall not insult my stupid, fat, idiotic, ugly, lousy teacher...

'Must we invite the Hendersons? Their children never stop swarming ...'

"I'm just messing with you."

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

"Check this out! My ew app imitates the sound of the door bell and makes the dog go berserk."

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

'How many times have I told you not to play with matches?'