Money Mischievous Gifts

'My trust fund manager makes me wear it.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Meowlzebub

Ponzi-Mat Vending Machine

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

"Before we decide if you can get in we have to watch a film review of your life..."

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"Okay, you play dead. 1-2-3 Go!"

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

Monkey Business

'Can't you just bat them between your paws like everyone else?'

"You've been a very bad man and we like that. So now, we're going to send you to London."

How the Easter Bunny lets everyone know where the naughty kids live.

Gracie hatches a plan to trap Santa.

'Looks like a chipmonk.'

Killing Santa

Buster got religion in the pound and now works with other bad dogs.

'It's finished, my masterpiece - wait...'

'Cut it out!'

Pandora's cat.

Leaving pet shop, boy says to puppy: 'You're my bitch now.'

"Alternatively we could make them all sexy."

HisssssHerssss....

Watch for Children.

'We bought it as a bonsai tree!'

'Good morning, Vicar - are you decent?'

'Must we invite the Hendersons? Their children never stop swarming ...'

"Thanks for bringing the party mix, but. . ."

"He really likes to play with the mice before he kills them"

'Give me a mortgage!...'

'I see you have been mopping the floor while I was out. Are you doing this to be nice or disposing of evidence?' 'Why can't it be both?'

"If you want soil moved around, I say why wait for erosion."

Cat burglar.