Mirthful Menagerie Gifts

You clowns would laugh at anything

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"Gesundheit!"

Animal Band.

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'So it's agreed- the first person to lower their hand is fired.'

'Moron.'

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"Innocent, your honor."

Happy Mother's Day.

'No, your wife wasn't wearing clean underwear. She wasn't wearing any underwear at all.'

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

Melting snowman tries to hitch a ride north.

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

"What were those songs you were singing?"

Caution Dulcimer

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

Sponsored grump, donate now: 'This isn't much of a challenge for you really, is it?'

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

You want the money for a house? Boring! Come back when you need it for something cool, like a speedboat.'

'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'

'Call the Fire Brigade - the tree's stuck up the cat.'

"Says here you like to play practical jokes..."

Moses at the urinal

'That's as maybe, mister Frimley, but there's still no such thing as inner-child benefit.'