Mirthful Menagerie Pillows

You clowns would laugh at anything

"It that it? I don't have my contacts in."

"I wanted a Meticulous Monday or a Thorough Thursday report. This reads more like a Frivolous Friday."

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"Gesundheit!"

Plymouth Rock

Animal Band.

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Hunting - No. XII

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

'So it's agreed- the first person to lower their hand is fired.'

'As a patient I'm glad because the doctor cured me. As a lawyer I'm sad because there's no reason to sue that guy.'

'Moron.'

'Just as I thought...made in Alaska!'

'I got 50p - how much did you get?'

"Innocent, your honor."

Happy Mother's Day.

'No, your wife wasn't wearing clean underwear. She wasn't wearing any underwear at all.'

'It's just that when I said 'I wish I was a babe magnet'...'

'Your test results are in, and you're FULL of surprises!'

Melting snowman tries to hitch a ride north.

"What were those songs you were singing?"

"This is Harold. . . He's in charge of office merriment."

Caution Dulcimer

'Nurse! The chart says comatose, not comb his toes!'

Sponsored grump, donate now: 'This isn't much of a challenge for you really, is it?'

You want the money for a house? Boring! Come back when you need it for something cool, like a speedboat.'

'The postman woke me up at five this morning... That's the last time I sleep with him.'

'The second opinion I got advised me to sue you for malpractice.'

'Call the Fire Brigade - the tree's stuck up the cat.'

Moses at the urinal

"Says here you like to play practical jokes..."