Miracle Sportsman Gifts

'Wow... Here comes 'Holy' Andy Jones, king of headers!'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Golfing Bishop.

Tiny Visions

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

Ted's Brilliant Rugby Career Was Plagued By Nagging Injuries,

"All this pitching and hitting- I'm convinced there's a deeper meaning to it all."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

Halo Frisbee.

'Well, I got a hunting license and a fishing license and by golly I'm going to use them.'

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'... and finally, before tip-off, let's all be courteous and turn off our cell phones.'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

'This stuff is all well and good son, but when are you going to get a proper job?'

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Moses gets REALLY lost in the desert.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"That's my boy!"

"I'll need to see your responsible service of alcohol certificate."

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

-I think I've caught a cold -It's the only thing you've caught all day!

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Mother will catch you!'