Mini Shopper Gifts

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'She's so put together!'

SALE

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

Twenty-first century baby walker

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everything's gone up."

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

Fashion Mistake.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Complex Carbs

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

"Let's make believe they have to get dressed to go out now because there's a big sale at Bloomingdale's."

"You went to Barneys without me? You slut!"