Little Shopper Gifts

'...What else exactly did you purchase online with Daddy's credit card details?'

Twenty-first century baby walker

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'She's so put together!'

SALE

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

'My diet seems to be working great! Do you have any less relaxed jeans?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Everything's gone up."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'I'm sorry, sir, but our happy hour doesn't start for another fifteen minutes.'

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

Fashion Mistake.

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Complex Carbs

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

Mom & Pop Grocerette

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."