Mini Shopper Pillows

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'She's so put together!'

Twenty-first century baby walker

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

SALE

"I can't decide. I'm having a brand identity crisis."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"Everything's gone up."

'French hypermarket' ' 5 English or less' till

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

'She's on the trail of a pair of Jimmy Choo's.'

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'I went to see a personal shopper this afternoon. . . I thought I'd surprise you!'

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

Fashion Mistake.

"I often think of the 'Hereafter'. When I'm shopping I'm always asking myself 'What am I here after?'"

'Cool, a wheel. Now you can take me shopping.'

"I'm looking for something that the recipient will be too embarrassed to regift."

Complex Carbs

Our grocery carts are genetically modified.

'I wish you'd buy another hat!'

Guilty Pleasures

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

Self Magazine,

'And don't forget the eggs dear'

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

"I can't believe I spent seven million dollars on tights."