Mini Debate Champ Pillows

"It's one thing for the National Commission to comment on the quality of teaching in our schools. It's another thing entirely for you to stand up and call Mr. Costello a yo-yo."

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

Who will determine Venezuela's future?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"We've discovered they mate for life, as long as they don't discuss politics."

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

"Everyone stay calm, if we don't upset it maybe it won't start shooting."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

You don't believe I could be a supreme court justice! You're ruining my self-esteem! F.Y.I? � Whiny tirades don't look good on a supreme court justice's record. Thank you for your candid assessments. I will certainly consider their merits. Fine judicial temperament. And reject them for their shallow insensitivity! Rejection overruled.

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

America Finally Solves the Gun Problem

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

"Let me connect you with Edith, our specialist in ethnic conflict in the former Yugoslavia. My expertise happens to be in North Korean intransigence."

"An excellent defense. Let's give her the doctorate."

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

'He said I have no cavities and that my breath knocked his socks off.'

A young positivist.

Healthcare declaration

'I don't get it, Victoria. . . why are men in control of everything?'

"I think it's time we learned to stand up for our selves."

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"So—who are you angry at currently?"

Children arguing over the name of a fish

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

'There are no stupid questions, so let's also agree there are no stupid answers.'

"This swamp is much too beautiful to drain.".

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"Soy latte for 'Actually Frankenstein is the doctor I don’t have a name.'"