Mini Debater Pillows

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"We shouldn't have let him watch the debates."

"The good news is, the children in the district have strong writing skills. The bad news is, we have sustained a letter-writing campaign from the third grade."

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

"Now that's a win."

The Proust of Twitter

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Like Minded

"How do I know God is not real? For the same reason I know people on TV can't see me."

"It's one thing for the National Commission to comment on the quality of teaching in our schools. It's another thing entirely for you to stand up and call Mr. Costello a yo-yo."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

The last word.

Global warming debate.

Approved Debate Questions

"Well, by that logic no one would ever shave a clock onto a monkey."

'My opponent hates cats.'