Tiny Debater Pillows

'Naughty or nice? -- I was hoping for a little more moral relativism.'

'Remember, my allowance helps redistribute wealth, since all the money in this country is in the hands of grown ups.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Dialogue

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Changing Minds

The Proust of Twitter

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"Now that's a win."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

Like Minded

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'

'My opponent hates cats.'