Tiny Debater Gifts

'Naughty or nice? -- I was hoping for a little more moral relativism.'

'Remember, my allowance helps redistribute wealth, since all the money in this country is in the hands of grown ups.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

Dialogue

The Proust of Twitter

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

Changing Minds

"Now that's a win."

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"You're 5 years old now, Timmy. It's about time you retain an attorney."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"We broke up. I wanted a proprietary platform - she wanted open source."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

Anderson Cooper as a Kid. Today, an expose that asks the question: Who IS Simon, and why must we do what he says?

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

'After you grade my report, may I have my intellectual property back?'

"You're using the boogeyman as an excuse to shut me out."

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comments section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"On the contrary, Bosworth, it's YOU who has lost all perspective."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

Oz Debating Society. You can't refute everything I say just by call it a "straw man" argument.

Babble. Pbl. Babama. Bbb. Brb. Bod.

'I'm now going to open the floor to questions.'

A bunch of global warming skeptics want to join eco club. It's a school organization. You have to let them in. But they just want to harass us with selective facts! Today: Eco club. So? Debate is good. You have :An Inconvenient Truth" to counter their arguments. Oh. Great. Now we'll have to read it.

Like Minded

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'I can watch T.V. shows on the computer, so who needs a TV?'