Small Talk Champion Pillows

"I hope you sat me next to someone who wants to hear all about my bathroom renovation."

"These are your friends the Erskines, sir. Madam kisses both of them. You kiss her and you shake his hand. Then you wink and say, 'Hey, how about those Yankees?' "

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

"I'm terrible with names, and even worse with faces."

"You want to know about my day? Mom, didn't we just do this last month?"

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

What price beauty?

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'This is fantastic! I don't know what's smaller, the talk or the food?'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

Silly News.

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

The Art of Bantering!

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

Snail slow to react to an ant's joke.

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'

Let's talk about the weather.

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

Why are you here?

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

'I once met the tweeter for a famous novelist, but never anyone who tweeted for an organic, patented plum.'

Dadonomics

Hi. How's it goin'? Good, you? 'Sup. Hey. Hello. The Primordial Schmooze.