Small Talk Artist Pillows

'You're a bird watcher...really...which type,an ornithologist or a dirty old man?'

'I forgot who I'm supposed to talk to and why.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

What price beauty?

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Cocktail party with man balancing drink on head as he eats.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"Remember, I want to hear fifteen solid minutes of small talk before you ask for the Wi-Fi password."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

Silly News.

Develop Your Social Skills: Asking Questions is a Great Way to Keep a Conversation Going.

"I enjoy being old - my health always gives me something to talk about!"

"But I haven't finished explaining about dollar-cost-averaging." "Sorry, I didn't register for this course."

The Art of Bantering!

'What's your favourite operating system?' - 'I don't have one.' - 'Well, you killed that conversation.' - 'It deserved to die.'

'I wish i could think of some way to get away form him.' 'I wish i could think of some way to get away form her.'

"Oh, just cellaring. You?"

"What might you have written that I might say I've read?"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."

"I find it a very good conversation starter."

'Is it just me, or is it REALLY temperate in here?'

'With me and Dave it was definitely love at first sight. How about you two?'

"Jim is a good old-fashioned modernist."

"I grew up in St Louis and went to school in New Jersey and have been in Brooklyn ever-since, but sure, I guess technically I'm 'from' the Black Lagoon."

Dadonomics

He took every chance to practice his talk.

"I'll tell you what ... you mingle, I'm going to monopolize a conversation."

Why are you here?

'Have we met someplace? Yes, that's why I quit going there.'