Mini Day Trader Gifts

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

SALE

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

It's a call from Tate modern.

Day trading.

Kid doing cave paintings

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

'You could do that.' I did

'Do I have to be creative?'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"I love your work!"

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"It failed the stress test."

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

"We're hoping that someday Rosalie will be a major player in the creative economy."

"I don't have time for piggy banks. Can't I just buy an ATM?"

"Since I became a creator on social media, fridge displays seem so passé."

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"I don't get an allowance. I get earnings per share."

Little girl drawing big sun puts on sunscreen.

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"That' a wonderful picture, sweetheart. You know, maybe we should keep all of this garbage, in case you become a famous artist."

Michelangelo painting with watercolors as a child.

'Will broker deals for food'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."

Fridge with child's drawings in an art exhibition.

'Was Benedict Arnold just a plain old traitor, or was he a day traitor, like you, dad?'