Day Trading Buff Gifts

'I see you've hired a former work-from-home, day trader.'

The day the stock market went UP.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Day trading.

That Awkward Moment When You Discover That Wall Street's Insanity Is Helping You

Bank cashier sits near sign: 'Please do not ask for credit, as refusal often offends'.

"I don't like the look of this."

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'...and this time Gerald, don't refer to the RBS as the Ripoff Bonus Scheme!'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

"We do have faith but I'm afraid our policy is still not to accept Bitcoin."

"Don't worry! He's totally changed..."

You invested in Facebook?! How could you? That bugs you? You, of all people, are mad that the FTC is suing Meta Platforms in an antitrust case? No, I mean how can you afford to invest? If you can afford to buy stock, then I pay you way too much. It was only $40! Quiet, I'm calculating your pay cut.

Playing cards.

'I love it when you talk big bucks, Mr. Williams.'

Spanish bank needs propping up.

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

'Bob was eventually arrested and charged with outsider trading.'

'He'll love this cologne. It has the scent of an undervalued stock.'

'Credit being what it is, I'm sure you won't mind if we see your 200,000 cattle first...'

'Money, I'm home!'

Trump Tariffs

Big Loan, Little Deposit Bank

"I told you everyone would come as a bull or a bear..."

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"Squawk! Interest rates are going negative!"

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

World-Wide Bank: Economic crisis lands in the in-tray.

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."