Day Trader Gifts

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

Fortune - Lost a Fortune.

'I've decided to hang in for the long-term. Maybe even all day!'

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

Ron adopted an unorthodox approach to making investment decisions.

'Did you apply for our execution only service?'

'Look, I told you, I'll come and have dinner just as soon as I've broken even.'

"His mood is pegged to the dollar."

"Blame the messenger."

'Exactly how much do you have to speculate before anything starts to accumulate?'

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

'Congratulations, Mr Henderson, Your gross income has just become a totally gross income!'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'My broker uses it to trade hot stocks.'

"Nothing about Day Trading?"

'Will broker deals for food'

'How do you become a day trading millionaire? Easy, just start out as a day trading billionaire.'

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

'...but then the Dow rallied and the blue chips began to rise...'

'You save money by trading online, but in rough times, who will hold your sweaty hands?'

'I see you've hired a former work-from-home, day trader.'

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

'Forget the birds and the bees. I downloaded that from the Internet. Tell me about day trading.'

"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."

'Careful, they sound like cowboys.'

Brokers Yard.

An awkward moment at the shareholders meeting.

'Okay, I'll see your 3 and raise you another one!'

"Then I thought, hey great, if I become a day trader I can work at home in my underwear."

The Stock Market

'Dear, I picked up some new business suits for you.'

'Fingers burnt, eh? I should cut down on the day trading a bit'.

'Thinking before making that investment?--you know that's just looking for trouble.'

"I was a successful day trader...had a bad few minutes."

'After a hectic day of trading, some of our traders need to decompress.'