Starting Day Trading Gifts

Man managing own stock portfolio with vulture in window.

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The day the stock market went UP.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Build Your Own Portfolio

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

Will work for ETFs

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Basically, your new job here at the Treasury Department implementing the bailout is simple, Grayson, just grab and armful of money and run..."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I had that nightmare again where everyone found out I'm in my late thirties and still have no idea how the stock market works."

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Why markets crash.

'This is where I hang out until bullishness makes a comeback.'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'well of course I'm giving your portfolio the attention it deserves, I'm even wearing a black armband!'

Stock market Bull & Bear financial whirlwind.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

'City Traders - The Complete Menagerie'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.