Day-trader In Training Gifts

'And if you are sure you want to execute the trade, just click the 'Yup!' icon.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"What do you think I can get for it on the blackboard market?"

Day trading.

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Okay...tell me again what training seminar we sent Bill to?"

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

"Heck of a shot, son, but that's not a deer."

I disturbed the class by talking in my sleep.

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'Will broker deals for food'

"Today opened as November 10, 1987, swung wildly to March 7, 1996, and closed as December 5, 1902."

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

Pranking Zombies

The Little Banker Bonus Pack

'It's not fair! I wanna save the Earth from asteroids and aliens! All daddy wants to do is sell 1,000 shares of stock!'

The Day Trader

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

'Was Benedict Arnold just a plain old traitor, or was he a day traitor, like you, dad?'

'How did your big investment go, dear?'

"His mood is pegged to the dollar."

'Exactly how much do you have to speculate before anything starts to accumulate?'

'I was trying to predict future market trends and the computer blew up!'

'Okay, I'll see your 3 and raise you another one!'

"Day trading? What's made in a minute is lost in a second."

The Stock Market

'I know I said I love this stock, but that was five minutes ago.'

'Junior, if you don't do your homework and stop daytrading, we'll have to freeze your assets!'

'Every time I break one of my investment rules, I put $10 in the mistake jar. As of today, it's worth more than my portfolio.'