Mindful Maverick Gifts

Gene Therapy

Conformity

Don't sweat the small stuff

It's not working. I still feel ornery.

Your mind is your own little corner of the world.

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

'You are being haunted by the spirit of a slimmer, trimmer, you.'

"Stan, this looks like a breakthrough!"

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Please join me now in a group meditation."

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

'You know you're 40 when...'

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

"Maybe this session we could work on getting you to admit you need help?"

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

In and Outre Tray

"Never mind what Dr. Freud says. You just listen to what Dr. Hippleman says."

DoctorGuru - 'Do you have an appointment?'

"Well, what I lack in cognitive thinking skills I more than make in moral flexibility."

'Forget crossing my palm with silver... I'll accept notes!'

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

"Where is everybody going?"