Mind Maverick Gifts

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

'Ms Simpson, I believe I've finally done it. I've written the Great American Memo.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

Guitar Man.

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

Using psychic powers, the final exam had been a breeze. However, Madame Evetta did not realize that the student in front of her from who she had obtained the majority of her answers, was Bugs Higgins.

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

Gene Therapy

Popera!

I'm tired of your games, Al. MY games? look who's talking! The guy with the role-playing hand puppets!

Stealing thoughts.

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"Looks like he's coming around to our way of thinking."

Thinking.

If I survive this, I'm reinventing myself as a television pundit.

Hacksaw Violin.

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

Santa Metal Claus

"Mmm... now WHERE did i leave my radio..?"

'Knock it off. That's just the kind of backward thinking I was talking about.'

"He's right, but he didn't have to rub our faces in it."

Hip-Hopalong Billy Bob blamed the censors for killing the country-rap scene.

"who knows, Perkins maybe one day in the far future we'll be bullying each other in addictive artificial environments..."

"His latest management book was all about controlling the mind...and how you could teach it to construct a new reality..."

Proposed Changes To The Laws Of Gravity

"Stan, this looks like a breakthrough!"