Mental Health Maverick Gifts

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

"Maybe this session we could work on getting you to admit you need help?"

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

"Stan, this looks like a breakthrough!"

"Never mind what Dr. Freud says. You just listen to what Dr. Hippleman says."

Therapy in Hell.

'I don't think there's much more I can help you with, Mr. Krebbs...unless, of course, you want to talk about the bag thing.'

'I'm having my anger-management counselor and my conflict counselor duke it out.'

"The final step is acknowledging you need help. So shall we swap places again and resume the session?"

"How long have you been hearing these voices?"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'Not feeling well? Don't be silly - your EKG has outperformed the Dow.'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"The little stress ball wasn't working."

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

Gene Therapy

"That's a big fat lie!"

'A little more relaxant I think, nurse.'

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"Tell me why you think people are out to get you."

"I told the doctor about my problems with anxiety and burnout and he wrote me a prescription for me an one for himself."

'I like to think of the common bile duct as the gateway to the Bahamas.

Health Care Crisis table.

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

These drug will cost you an arm and a leg...the good news is, my wife and I own stock in the company that makes them.

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

'In the doctor's defense, there have been no serious post operative complications.'

Girl's weight issues.

First aid departments