Mindfulness Maverick Gifts

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

''Go with the flow' may be a bad way to put it.'

Conciousness-Lowering Encounter Group

'I don't care if this is your 'happy place.' You're double-parked.'

"You chant for inner peace. I'm chanting for a development deal."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Don't you think "ka-ching" sends the wrong message for a mantra?

Breathe in. One. Two. Three. Four. Hold it. One. Two. Three. How'd you like it? I'm not sure Yoga's for me. I flunked breathing.

"What? Oh great! - You bozos made me forget what I was meditating about!"

'Mr Hastings can't come to the phone right now. He's meditating.'

Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder.

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

Where your mind & battle are los

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Thinking Gears

Work/Life Balance

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

Surfing the daily stress

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Fight or Flight

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Eventually, you'll learn to hate your body, then love it again, then hate it—and back and forth until the beach becomes very complicated."

"The goal is to hate yourself."

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

Yoga.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'How about we just sit here a while to regulate the gaps in our service?..'

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.