Modern Mindset Maverick Gifts

"Baldo, have you thought about your future, your career?"

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Employee won't think about work outside of box

"Delegating authority is good. Delegating blame is better."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'So, gentlemen, how's the dollar trading against the immortal soul, today?'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

"The only good news this year, gentlemen, is our massive bonuses."

Gene Therapy

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

'We're not interested in loyalty,but we do value obedience.'

"He's right, but he didn't have to rub our faces in it."

'Knock it off. That's just the kind of backward thinking I was talking about.'

"Stan, this looks like a breakthrough!"

Colin had finished the 'One Minute Manager' and was now practising the 3467 minute tea break.

' I used to lead by example but it was too much work.'

'When are you going to show some INITIATIVE, Findley?', 'When you TELL me to, sir!'

'Don't just sit there, hire someone who agrees with me.'

'The ethics consultant said our business conduct is immoral. I immediately took action and fired the guy.'

"Don't try to understand them, just ride and rope and brand them."

'Take a deep breath and don't panic - we're walking by the reason this area's known as the 'Fear Factor'!'

"Don't feel bad. Shallow people make my job easy."

'Darn! - Don't you hate it when you forget what you were meditating about?'

"You're wrong! I'm not the worst boss you've ever had. I'm the worst former boss you've ever had."

I understand you all have names already, but if I want to assign my employees names I like, Margeret, I'll damn well go ahead and do it!

'Managing a team in the current climate requires new skills...'

'What if, and I know this sounds kooky, we communicated with the employees.'

Conformity

'A sure-win radio talk show. People phone in with questions on existence and reality, and you respond with total silence.'

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"