Mindful Mama Gifts

". . . and if your kids have been driving you crazy today, just remember one day soon they won't even want to know you. . . and exhale. . . ahhhh."

"I think formula should be bottled-up, but not your emotions."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Suffering from Cooties?

Lamb Noise.

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"It's called geometry, Mum."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

"Then what happened?"

"It's bold! It's moving! It's inspired! But what is it?"

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

Why moms make bad refs.

"I'm so good at this!"