Mindful Mom Gifts

"...and, for what felt like the millionth time, she opened her phone for the diminishing dopamine hit that never satisfied."

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

'Can I just remind everyone once again that baby yoga is non-competitive.'

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"But I brought you here so I wouldn't have to play with you."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

Mom simultaneously feeds baby his bottle, and husband his.

Biological Alarm Clock.

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

'Have a couple of dreams, and call me in the morning.'

'Please feel free to tell me if Junior is in your way...'

"They think I don't have a clue."

"What did you learn in school today that I'd object to?"

"We don't have a time-out chair in our Classroom Community, that's our mindfulness chair."

"I think formula should be bottled-up, but not your emotions."

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

'It appears that your son's problems stem from attention deficit disorder.'

"Mommy can be tough like Janet Reno. But she can also be vulnerable like Al Gore."

'When you have boys, you need 'presoak'.'

"You'll have to give up the wine and the women. It's OK to sing, but only in moderation."

"It's just the virtue signal - unfortunately, it doesn't do much."

"Nature, nurture or a bit of both?"

". . . and if your kids have been driving you crazy today, just remember one day soon they won't even want to know you. . . and exhale. . . ahhhh."

Mother goosing her young son.

"You shouldn't try for enlightenment if you are pregnant or may become pregnant."

"Am I a bad parent for giving him a weighted blanket?"

"Can you believe this is happening to me? Her scores are very low in self-esteem."

A person trying to stop over-consuming, but not being able to find out how to.

Mantra For 2022

We need the help of the smartest people we know. Time to call my Mom.