Health-conscious Mama Gifts

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

But is it organic?

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Now, Mrs. Jones, repeat after me..."

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Diet considerations.'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'My mom's natural state when she isn't working or driving us around.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"I just found a lacto-vegan restaurant and Janet from accounts says she's FRUITAIAN!"

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Non-alcohol beer, unsalted potato chips and tofu hot dogs? Why did you accept a party invitation from a cardiologist?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"It's a new work-out video. It shows a mother chasing after 3 children all day"

'Trade you lunches?'

'Most, yes, but they're not all carcinogenic!'

'When will I start to look 'radiant and blooming'?'

"I got the kids to try more vegetables by putting sugar in the salt shaker."

Aiiiii! Fat! Cholesterol! Food!

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

"Everything started when I became a stay-at-home-mom of three little monsters."

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'It's getting harder every day to make a living at this.'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

"Sunday dinner just isn't the same without growth promoters"