Health-conscious Parent Gifts

'Would you like your child be in the gluten-free class, the lactose-free class, or the peanut-allergic class?'

Motivation for children to eat their vegetables.

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

We only give him smartwater.

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

It's 12 noon, do you know what kind of junk food your kid is being served at school lunch?

Shopping with children.

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Sometimes I think I liked it better when they gave out cigars. (new fathers are covered in bubble gum).

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

"It's the new school uniform..."

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

Running

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Wash your hands

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Flash Cuisine

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

Humpty Dumpty wearing over-the-shoulder seat belt smiles smugly.

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Is it organic?'

Spring.