Health-conscious Family Member Gifts

Stick Around Father.

Man on exercise bike with dog on treadmill

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Fitness in church.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

Rule #1. Of what? HYPOCHONDRIACS HANDBOOK. A little passion project I'm working on; or, rather, I would be working on. I can't write or type wearing my protective anti-flu gear. Rule #1: Get some loser to take dictation for you. I hate where this is heading.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

The smoking Gun

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'Have you put her on the strict diet I prescribed?'