Health-conscious Buddy Gifts

'I told you smoking was bad for you.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Well, well, well...'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Distance to avoid contagion

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"My approach is nontraditional, but from a uniquely Western perspective."

Man with broken leg in cast.

Dating in 2020

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

"Gracie, I think you've made your point. We can't completely remove meat from this family's diet...but we will try very hard to cut back, OK?"

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"Don't drink and drive. Don't even putt."

Couple in bed with health charts

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Oh, I listen to my body at meal time, but the messages aren't clear because its mouth is full!"

QUICK OIL CHANGE & FLU SHOT

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

Lard Lite - Marketing

GM Foods.

The smoking Gun

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'Have you been eating right?'

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

"Your, health check results are excellent. You have the body of an athlete... Although, probably only of bronze medal standard."

'Hang on a minute, the small print says: 'Endorsed by the French Government'...'