Health-aware Community Member Gifts

"Why are we hiding?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

I'm trying to read your test results from urology, but their server can only stream them a little bit at a time.

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Running

Wash your hands

I'm not evolving - I just thought I should lower my salt intake.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Bubbling

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

What's really in junk food...

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"