Health-aware Community Member Gifts

"Why are we hiding?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

Wash your hands

Running

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Bubbling

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Is it organic?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Spring.

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

What's really in junk food...

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'