Health-conscious Church Member Gifts

"The congregation says I'm the salt of the earth. Could that be affecting my blood pressure?"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

Religious Maintenance: 24 Hr Callout.

Flash Cuisine

'You've become run down from working too much. Try sneezing on your boss.'

'Apparently, you've purchased another piece of exercise equipment. I think it's time I organised an intervention.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

'Is it organic?'

'You're perfectly fit and healthy...but at your age...seriously, what's the point?'

Hiker Followed By Paramedic

Fitness in church.

'I warned you about eating at your desk. The Board of Health impounded your keyboard.'

'And also, no cigarettes, no cigars, no alcohol,no sweets,no dairy products, no bacon, no ham...'

Spring.

'No, I haven't heard the score of the football game.'

Football fans in corona times

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

What's really in junk food...

"It's very important to wash your hooves!"

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

'My prescription: digital textbooks.'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

The smoking Gun

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

"Cautious and considerate? Door on the left, one mask each. Selfish and ignorant? Door on the right, do as you please."

"You're not allowed to enter the city. Your exhaust emissions are much too high!"

"I quit worrying. I've gone 100% non-non and completely free-free."

"Mind if I shoot through?"

WARNING: Smoking turns you into a donkey.

"If you look after your body, it will last you a lifetime."