Health-conscious Families Gifts

"... and that this ham we're eating has enough sodium to give us high blood pressure. That's what I learned in school today."

New for Christmas-'L'il Product Tester'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

'The doctor said oily fish was good for his brain development.'

'Look, you're just going to have to cut back. Times have changed. . . Today's kids are full of hydrogenated oils, trans fats, corn syrup, and all kinds of preservatives.'

"Everything is dandy--and our intestinal biomes are joyous."

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

Wash your hands

Running

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

"I didn't ask to be made with seventeen grams of fat."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"She was really disappointed when she found out she was going to an eye doctor and not an iDoctor."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Vitamins A, B, C, D...Hey, Mom! - this cereal has all the recommended daily allowance of alphabet in it!'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

The Ultrasound.

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Scientists have found out that drinking alcohol can be dangerous...well, water can be dangerous, too!"

'Haven't you heard that hypernutrition in the first years can lead to obesity in later life.'

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

"Spring is in the air but it's December in my ABS."

"I can't eat these nutrition bars. They're for women."

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

"Sorry sir - our sun screen only goes up to Factor - 100..."

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'