Future Parents Focused On Health Gifts

The Ultrasound.

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"Entering Minivan Territory: Healthy Snacks Strictly Enforced

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Baby, baby maker

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

'My mum drives me to school. She says it isn't safe to walk with all the cars.'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

In the club.

Mother changing the words to 'this little piggy' to be more healthy

Biological Alarm Clock.

"I'd put his name down for Eton if I could spell it!"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

"I don't care what Siri said. Wheaty Puffs are good for you, so eat them up."

'I'm on the way!'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

Pregnant couple: I'm so glad I'm a woman/I'm so glad I'm a man.

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"It gets easier the second time."