Future Parent Gifts

Sperm donors - "They couldn't tell me anything about my genetic father apart from the fact that he was a frequent donor!"

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Sometimes I wonder if it's right to bring a child into this income."

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'

'Maternity waiting room' "It�s a boy!"

IVF Clinic: Free 'Baby on Board' T-Shirt To All Successful Patients

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

Sign on the maternity ward door reads 'Push, push, push.'

Fertility Clinic next to Headache Clinic

The future Mario Andretti about to be conceived

Expectant mother "Nine months - we'll be obsolete."

'I want kids, but not until I can afford to farm them out.'

"The long range forecast is a bit repetitive in here......warm and cosy, warm and cosy and warm and cosy!"

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

Baby boom expected due to corona

Baby on board...

"I'd like to have kids one day."

"It's still decided what it wants to be."

Stork and baby

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

"Who says nothing good is made in America anymore?"

"In brief, we'll stimulate your ovaries with daily medications or hormones, perform an oocyte retrieval at the hospital, incubate the eggs in a petri dish at the laboratory, and then sit back and let nature take its course"

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

"Did you want to know if the baby's a boy or a girl?"

'If I wanted to hear the patter of tiny feet, I'd put shoes on the cat!'

PCT funding crisis threatens maternity pay.

IVF Clinic bed - 'And here we have the basis of our revolutionary new technique.'