Future-focused Parents Gifts

"It was great seeing you – we'll have to have you two over once the kids have grown up and left for college."

"Congratulations! You've downloaded a baby girl, have you given any thoughts to a username?"

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"That's all I get? A sonogram? No tracking number?"

Coming Soon - Maternity Clinic. Coming Soon After - Law Firm Dealing in Medical Malpractice.

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

"Mother nature sure is confusing...she gives me a clothes line but no clothes!"

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

"Mum's biological clock is ticking away...OOPS!...my mistake. That's indigestion."

'Wendy! I'm glad you came over! I want you to see my baby's ultrasound hologram!'

'Don't worry about gaining weight after the baby - you'll run it off during the toddler years.'

Baby, baby maker

People and robots

"It's a GPS for busy executive mom. It tells you if your coming or going and when you'll get there!"

Baby's First Words... Hi Guys!

-THIRTY thousand? I thought you wanted TEN thousand? -I'm having triplets!

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

"Dear Mum. As contractions begin I thank you for letting me share your uterus. When do I get my bond money back??"

"I didn't realise it could be so complicated!"

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's perfect for starting a family."

Maternity ward: 'Baby talk spoken here.'

'We need to discuss your ultrasound.'

'First, let's see him program a DVD recorder.'

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

'I'm never having kids, I hear they take nine months to download.'

Fertility Clinic - "Who wants to be mother?"

"Amazing. For the fifth consecutive month the polling shows I'm the most popular foetus here."

'And once we transfer the embryo, aspirate the follicles, and align your ovulation with the doctor's gold schedule, voila -- natures little miracle.'

"Amazing how having a six month old baby can motivate you to stay at the office for 16 hours a day!"

"We can make you more pregnant than you ever though possible."

'We should probably think about baby proofing the place a bit.'